MOLIN CORVO gallery presents “DIALOGUE”, solo exhibition of the artist CESARE CALLEGARI.
le dialogue de la solitude dans le couple actuel
“This project was born from my desire to give form to an aspect of what I believe is one of the most complex realities to which human nature is called to measure itself: the couple.
The couple who, by its own sense, is a set consisting of two individuals.
Today more than ever, I note that the loving couple is losing its meaning of stable and secure entity, giving way to more modern and different experiences that bind two individuals. And I realise, from my experiences and from the experiences of those around me, that the couple is becoming increasingly a "place" where you can easily feel alone.
It is in particular about this fact that my thoughts have focused and brought me to make these objects: the special kind of loneliness that you can experience only when you are in a couple. That may seem a paradox, given that the couple is by its own sense a "place" where you should not be alone. The first of my observations concerns my own experience: both my previous partner and the current one, have shown as their greatest fear, the act of "being left". I was very impressed about their common yearning, and still I ask myself the question I was offered at the time that this fear was revealed to me: is it worse to be left or not being loved? Being abandoned by the person we love is scary, that's for sure, but I would find myself much more afraid to feel "trapped" in a couple where the person that I love ceases to love me.
And according to this last reflection, I wonder if our model of love is changing. I am the son of a generation that used to be married "until death do us part", but I realize now that this model of love has been handed down, cause probably it is not flexible enough for what is our society.
The couple as we have known, as we have been taught, has become a model too rigid, absolutely not flexible and adaptable on what are our needs.
And here comes to my mind the loneliness that can develop within the couple. From the fact that the model that has been handed down, was the one in which we see us always placed within pair in which you share Love, Friendship, Complicity, Consolation. I believe that, to date, it is very difficult to live our whole complexity of individuals with one person for a long period of time. We live in a society that changes every day, and despite the way we love is eternal (I speak in particular about myself, because who has been the object of my love has never stopped to be, even if the couple is over), perhaps our necessities and those who from time to time appear to us as being our "absolute needs", are evolving with this changing society. Or maybe because we are more careful to listen to our needs and groped by pandering them from time to time. Or perhaps because we have an array of wider alternatives and, more attainable at the same time. All these balances are very difficult to understand and the problems coming from them are of difficult solution. I have simply decided to report what I have observed: in our couples loneliness becomes alive and pulsating. And these objects just want to be the reflection of this. And perhaps a symbol of hope: the loneliness (in and out of the couple) is not an invincible enemy.
“… In the couple’s relationship, more than in any other type of bond between human beings, all these different behavioral systems are represented in close relationship. The bond of the couple, therefore differs from other forms of attachment (infant or adult), also because of the active presence of sexual behaviors and caregiver, as well as for the most symmetry and reciprocity in the relationship. It is expected, in fact, that in a loving relationship between adults, both members of the couple are able to perform the function of attachment to the partner. If we neglect these aspects of the couple, the relationship loses its connotation. For example, a relationship based only on sexuality, not providing comfort and safety, tends to be closer to a relationship between lovers. Similarly, a couple relationship that does not involve the expression of a genital sexuality would be similar to that of relatives or friends. …”
IL GIRASOLE E L’OMBRA
Intimità e solitudine del bambino nella cultura del clamore
curated by Guido Crocetti
"...even the false beliefs often play a trick to the relationships: always be honest, the immutability of the feeling, share the same hobbies and do something together in the free time; and then the myth of completeness, the idea of finding into the other what is felt to be missed in us, but with the risk of searching in the partner an extension of ourselves, and complain about not eventually finding what we thought we had found. Another colossal idiocy is considered possessing the other, which then overflows in the most pernicious forms of jealousy and intrusiveness: the classic expression "you could do it for me" hides the need to keep each other in their own possession and is synonymous to selfishness and immaturity. Then there is the myth of sex salvation. Any tension can be resolved under the sheets. But, if it is true that sex is a form of communication and that sometimes can get where words cannot, on the other hand it is true that sexuality remains silent when verbal communication is constantly interrupted by serious disagreements. Sex cannot be an eternal replacement of words. ..."
EVOLVERE RIMANENDO INSIEME
Ricerche sulla longevità dei rapporti di coppia per consolidare l'amore e recuperare l'intimità
by Edoardo Giusti – Elide Bianchi
"...There are those who suffer for years or do everything to avoid conflict, in order to save the apparent peace or the good of the children, only to explode when you least expect it, with disproportionate reactions, up to somatise the experiences with forms of headache, lack of appetite, insomnia, gastritis. There are others who, being tired of fighting over every little thing, have laid down their arms and surrendered, admitting that "so there's nothing to do with him / her. "There are some people who think they are always right and do not give any space to a real clarifying communication; much less accept the help of competent people. Finally, there are those who, bent on themselves, they surrender more and more in their own loneliness / anxiety, to a latent contempt of the spouse. ..."
LA COPPIA E LA FELICITA'
Dallo Spot pubblicitario al progetto d'amore: aspetti medici e psicologici
by Sara Mariorenzi – Angelo Peluso
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